{yet another homework assignment}

(from Old Testament... We watched a sermon from Mark Driscoll on Song of Songs and were asked to respond about our experience with frank talk about sex in the church.  We were also asked if we thought talk about sex in church was a yes a no or a maybe.)

Sermon link:  http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess/let-him-kiss-me

My personal experience with frank talk about sex in the church is…absolutely none.  It was always treated as taboo and “hush hush.”  I think part of it had to do with my age, but I know that sex is treated as extremely private in my church.  I am not sure I have ever heard anyone in my church say “sex”, let alone talk about it.  When I was about 12, my parents led a Sunday School class about “preparing for adolescence.” That was basically my only experience with talking about sex that is related to the church.  Because it was so private, sex seemed almost like a negative thing.  I have always believed that I shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage, but when I started dating in high school, there were a lot of question marks and blanks left because the topic had never been addressed.  I feel like some of those blanks could have been filled in a little if my church family had been more willing to address the topic.  Also, I would have felt much less confusion, fear, and later, guilt if I had felt free to discuss sex and physical relationships. 

I definitely think there should be frank talk about sex in the church.  Sex is a healthy part of any marriage relationship, and I fully believe God created us to become one with our spouse in this way. It is important, especially for young people/couples, that sex is not treated as something that is bad or wrong.  Obviously, there is a time and a place to discuss sex within the church body.  Watching Mark Driscoll’s sermon on Song of Songs really got me thinking.  His sermon was not graphic or inappropriate.  It simply brought to light the fact that sex is a gift – not a god and not gross.  So often the church, whether on purpose or not, makes sex out to be gross or bad.  So many young people feel as though they cannot discuss sex or anything about their physical relationships with anyone.  I know so many young girls who are like I was – so naïve and so scared to mess up.  I also know women who are married that still struggle with feeling guilty and feeling like sex is a negative thing.  This is so tragic because as Christians we are supposed to reflect Christ.  Jesus would not brush this subject under the rug, so as the body of Christ, I think that we have a responsibility to young people to provide a safe haven – a place where talk about difficult topics is welcomed.  Young people and adults alike need to see that sex isn’t something to feel dirty or wrong about, but something that God created for us to enjoy within the context of marriage.

I think that addressing the entire church body, like Mark Driscoll does in his sermon series, is appropriate at times.  Other times, it is better to just create that safe atmosphere and foster trusting relationships.  Simply providing an environment that is free of judgment is so important.  Youth groups, smaller Sunday school classes, one on ones, and accountability partners are all ways that this topic can be approached.  Obviously you don’t want to start talking about sex in detail with every 10 year old in the church body.  However, it is important to be aware that our culture is extremely sex-saturated and that most people have a misled view of sex.  Most of our culture is so bent on immediate gratification and the desire for physical pleasure that they miss the fact that sex is a gift and that it is meant for marriage. There are others who are so turned off to sex because of the church, a negative experience, or the culture we live in that they also miss the fact that sex is a gift.  Neither of these situations is positive.  Perhaps the body of Christ should get away from inadvertently giving young people negative concepts about sex, and focus more on encouraging a Godly view on physical relationships.  

Changes

Recently, I've been thinking about how nothing ever works out you thought it would.  Everyone always says that God has a plan and that things will work out even better than you thought.  This is all true, but it's really not easy to believe when you are in the middle of it all.  Just when you think that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, just when you think you have things figured out... Something happens.  Something changes.  And then you are back to struggling to stay above water.  It is exhausting to constantly be changing plans.  I, for one, am not the most adaptable person in the world.  I don't generally see change as a good thing.  I don't like it when my life shifts and things get confusing and complicated.  I like knowing that I have a plan.  Now, I'm not saying that I have everything figured out all the time.  I'm just saying that when I do finally have things figured out (and feel like God has me where He wants me) and things change - I get discouraged.  I get frustrated.  I start second guessing.
Like right now, for instance.  I am going through a ridiculous amount of change.  Most days I can handle each little wave as it comes.  But this week feels like I keep getting smacked by a giant tidal wave. In addition to some issues back home, normal school annoyances, and sickness, I really don't feel like GC is what it used to be anymore.  I chose this school because I felt like God wanted me here.  I felt at home; comfortable.  I love my program and my classes, but lately things have been changing in how the college is run.  I chose GC because they claimed to be different.  And they have been different. Up til now.  I used to know that I was more than a number - that the school really wanted what was best for me and was committed to what was best for me as a student.  It was one of the main reasons why I chose GC over other state universities.  Now I feel like all I am is a dollar sign.  There is no Christian character shown anymore in my opinion.  I know that everyone needs money - and the college does too.  However, I feel like there are more ways to accomplish this than to flat out tell students that they can't live anywhere but on their campus, not eat anything except their food, buy any books but theirs, etc. simply because they need money.  My personal financial hardship means nothing to this school anymore.  The fact that there are no more GPA standards means nothing to this school anymore.  The fact that they are ruining their Christian influence/witness seems to mean nothing to this school. I love this campus, and my program, and what GC claims to stand for.  I just don't feel proud to be graduating from a school whose main purpose seems to be sucking money from it's students no matter the situation.
So, this leaves me timidly looking for other schools to finish my Senior year at... Hopefully things work out and I can stay here at GC.  I really do want to finish here...but things are getting crazy!
Sorry for the rant, but I would appreciate your prayers.

Joy

"Joy means the perfect fulfillment of that for which I was created and regenerated, not the successful doing of a thing." (Oswald Chambers)

I was reading My Utmost for His Highest, and Chambers brings to light a really interesting point.  He says, "We are more than conquerors through Him in all these things, not in spite of them, but in the midst of them.  the saint never knows the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but BECAUSE of it."
You can't be a conqueror unless you go through the trial.  You can't win the war if you don't fight the battle. You don't learn the lesson if you don't go through that experience.  But once we conquer through Christ and come to realize His goal and purpose for us, we are able to take part in His JOY.

"In all things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us."

Our Lord loves us, and nothing can come in between that love and us.  Nothing we do can separate us; he will love us no matter what.  He loves us with an unending, unconditional love.   And because of that love we can know true joy through the fulfillment of His purpose for us.  As I think about the fact that my Savior loves me with a gracious, never ending love... and as I consider that He created me for a purpose so that I can share in His joy... I am in awe.

What a wonderful Savior!

oh the things we are challenged to think about in college

For my Old Testament class, I watched this sermon (I want to watch the entire series):

http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/redeemingruth/gods-hand-in-our-redemption

We were also to read this article: http://www.ctlibrary.com/ct/2009/august/16.22.html

It really got me thinking.  I had to write a response paper on the article, and I included that here.  I also am still mulling over somethings about the sermon involving "Religion vs. Redemption."  So, I will most likely get back to that on blogger eventually.... :)

Both the article and the sermon provided eye opening and thought provoking points.  The sermon brought to light the idea of marriage as a covenant and a consummation; the process of becoming one flesh.  There is a promise, a pledge, a covenant made.  It is sacred and holy.  When this covenant is consummated, man and woman become one.  It is really beautiful, and I really liked the way Pastor Mark Driscoll presented the marriage covenant interwoven with Ruth’s story of Redemption.  This marriage relationship can be related to God’s covenant relationship with his people.  He wanted to be one with his people, and they pledged and promised to love and obey him.  God’s people did not always remember their covenant however.  They were unfaithful.  It was sad and tragic because that covenant bond was meant to never be broken.  God is gracious, though, and redeemed his people.  He loved them anyways, and once they turned back to him, they were forgiven.  The story of Ruth is a story of redemption, as is our story as Christians.  When we break our covenant with God, it breaks his heart; but when we turn back to him, we are forgiven.  We are redeemed through Jesus Christ.  This relationship is a parallel and a model for Christian relationships and marriage.  This is the foundation that Christian marriage should be based on – the example of God’s love for and covenant with us. 

The article The Case for Early Marriage was very intriguing to me.  The author points out that there are many more Christian young women than men.  This makes waiting for the right spouse difficult, and can lead to a decision to compromise and have sex outside of marriage.   I think that our society and the church as a whole has put so much emphasis on sex and waiting for sex and staying pure and being a virgin that the actual beauty of sex and marriage are becoming lost in translation.  God created us to “be fruitful and multiply.”  He created marriage, and he made us have sexual desires to bring us closer together and to create new life.  Our society has made sex a fact of almost every “normal” relationship, but it has made marriage the last thing on anyone’s mind.  In relation to that, the church has made such a huge deal about waiting until marriage to have sex, that young couples’ focus is on sex, whether it be guilt from going too far or on making such a big effort to wait.  Instead of seeing marriage as a natural part of the Christian relationship, many young Christian couples are overwhelmed with the issue of sex.  Many marry so that they can experience guilt-free sex.  This whole way of thinking cheapens the marriage covenant and the idea of becoming one flesh. 

One thing that I found extremely interesting in this article was the idea that marriage is (can be) “formative,” meaning that one does not have to be this wholly formed person.  Individuals grow and couple grow closer as they experience life together; they become one.  This is something completely foreign to me because it is the opposite of what I always thought growing up.  I agree with this idea because God wants us to have that marriage covenant.  How can we really become one person if we are two completely whole individuals?  I am still developing my ideas about this one.

What is the point of all of this?  Well, as the author points out, the trend in both the church and in society as a whole is to get married much later.  For Christian couples who have decided to wait until marriage, this means that they are putting off the natural desire for sex even longer.  This alone is definitely not a reason to get married earlier, but it is something to think about.  Getting married young is not a bad thing, and it can be really healthy if entered into with the right mindset. 

The author mentioned five reasons that marrying young can be dangerous.  They are as follows:

1.       Economic insecurity

2.       Immaturity

3.       A poor match

4.       Marrying for sex

5.       Unrealistic expectations

Personally, I think that all of these reasons could lead to a failed marriage at any age.  However, I would have to say that young marriages could struggle the most with a poor match due to a shorter search or with unrealistic expectations.  Jumping into marriage too soon is always dangerous, but can be especially detrimental at a young age.  Unrealistic expectations are also more prevalent at a young age because many young people think their lives will pan out just as planned.  This never happens and can be very disappointing and stressful in a marriage. 

“Christians need to get real about marriage: it's a covenant helpmate thing that suffers from too much idealism and too little realism,” the author says.  Waiting for years to be sure you are marrying the right person does not ensure a perfect marriage.  Waiting for sex until marriage does not promise a great sex life with no difficulties.  Getting married later in life does not mean that you are any more ‘ready’ to be married.  Marriage is a covenant.  Marriage is hard work.  It is not ideal.  It is a real thing that requires commitment and understanding.  The church may need to reconsider its approach to young people about sex and marriage.  Chastity is a good and beautiful thing, as is marriage.  But shouldn’t the focus be on the covenant of marriage, rather than on sex outside of marriage?  Doesn’t that misguided focus just lead to an inaccurate picture of what “becoming one” really means?  

" My name is Anna. And I'm an organize-aholic."

So I like to clean. And organize. A lot. Like more than most people.  I find it relaxing. Almost therapeutic.  If you have seen Friends, I have been likened to the character Monica more times than I can count.  I am one of those people who cannot focus unless their space is neat and clean.  In fact, I just reorganized and "spring cleaned" one of the rooms that I live in.  Partly because it needed cleaning, and partly because I was just so excited for something new and organized.  I had to make myself do homework and put it off until this weekend.  That is how excited I was.

So now that you know what I freak I am .... I would just like to say that it looks really nice! And homey.

Speaking of home... I miss mine! Mostly my fabulous mother and father.  But also my dog, Riley Rose. She is about as blonde as the stereotype gets, and I love her to death.  She walks into things.  People say she got it from me.

I was looking forward to going on a cool, fun, fabulous Spring Break this year with my momma.  However, I think we will be having a cool, fun, fabulous Spring Break at home.  Which could turn out to be just what I need.  Today has been an up and down day.  And I keep thinking about things that I want to blog about.  I know you are just dying to read about my oh so exciting life.  So I will do my best to get on the ball and write about some of the things I have been thinking.

Thoughts of the day:

- I am in Old Testament Survey this semester and am discovering the Old Testament is actually really interesting!
- It's possible to love others, love yourself, love God, and be in love all at the same time.  Cool stuff, right?
- Positivity really makes a difference.  (and it can annoy people... just ask my friends)
- Our Jesus loves and personally identifies with our needs and struggles. That's amazing.
- The loving relationships we maintain with those we are closest to here on earth are just a glimpse of the amazing love relationship we are continuously working on with Christ.  The parallel is pretty cool I think.  I never thought about my relationship with God in a lovey-dovey way until I came to Greenville.  But the more I learn, the more I see how it makes sense.  When you love someone, you take the time to know them intimately.  You make time for them.  You know everything about them and you become in tune with them and how they work. You know what makes them tick.  How much more amazing, then, would our relationship with God be if we truly applied those same things?
- Love. really is all you need.

Tradition

Every Christmas I realize more and more the crazy traditions that we have continued throughout the years.  Some of them, I don't think were meant to turn into traditions.  For example, the fact that we go stocking stuffer shopping as a family, in one store, on Christmas Eve... was probably the result of a chaotic rush to get everything done when me and Kyle were kids (mom is that true?) .  And now, It is one of my favorite parts of Christmas week.  My other favorite started when Kyle and I went to KCA and were in the Christmas plays.  We would always go to Wendy's for a frosty and then drive through the pretty Christmas light display in K-town.  It was always so magical.  I don't remember a year that we haven't missed.  Tonight was gorgeous, because it is still snowing...the perfect kind of snow that makes you think you are living in a snow globe.  I was reminded of the peace of Christmas and the peace of Jesus today when Kaitlyn and I opened the door to check out the snowfall.  It was so still, and quiet and beautiful.  It was like peace was falling around us. *sigh* so perfect.
Back to traditions....we also always attend Christmas Eve service at my church.. candles, singing, and Jesus.  Can't get any better.  It's the perfect way to get into the real spirit of Christmas.  One thing my father has done since we were young (and we always thought it was super cool) was a toast with egg nog before we go to bed on Christmas Eve.  When we wake up on Christmas it's a long time to wait... Dad drags it out as much as possible.  There's the breakfast, setting the camera up (because someone somewhere just NEEDS to watch the video of our entire morning ... for the last 20 years...), the reading of the Bible story, the choosing of a "Santa" to hand out gifts, and the one by one opening....and the break halfway through.... you get the idea.
We open stockings on Christmas Night. .... so we have one last thing to enjoy and savor... it's the perfect end...
Talking about it makes me soooo excited for tomorrow!!!
But I am so glad that tonight brought me back to remembering what Christmas is really about.
Josh is always saying how much he hates what our society has turned Christmas into, and I agree.  It has become tainted.  It turned into "gimmie" rather than GIVE. Grouchy rather than joyful.
I encourage you this Christmas to think about the sacrifice Jesus made by coming into this earth as a baby so that He could die for us.  That is a powerful message.
Merry Christmas!!!!

Live and Learn

Where does the time go? Seriously??
I am sitting here, having just finished my 5th semester of college. there's only 3 left. And I'm technically a Senior now.  A Senior. woah. When did that happen? Am I really old enough for all this responsibility? Apparently I'm supposed to be all grown up soon? Yikes. It's a good thing I want to teach little kids for the rest of forever. Otherwise. I think I would be depressed.  I just know I wasn't cut out for a normal job... all that pressure and responsibility.  I would much rather do hand painting murals and read kid books! For serious.
Anyways... I know that the past few years have really taught me some valuable lessons about life, love, God, and myself.  Not necessarily in that order.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  And the people I've met along the way. Now THOSE are priceless.

Live. Love. Forgive.